Finding Yoga

I wasn’t your traditional child who finished high school and went straight to college. In fact, I was far from traditional. I barely got out of high school. I totally loved my friends but I just didn’t learn as other kids did. I couldn’t sit all day and listen to a teacher talk and not have any visualization to understand what in the world she/he was talking about. After all I had spent all my early days watching animals in nature and riding horses. I soon began to feel like a failure. I did love Physical Education and I was darn good at it. I loved Art and I was ok at that too. I didn’t understand why I need to learn about what happened years ago or the reason certain chemicals blow up when you mix them together. I was very practical and thought let’s live in the here and now, the present. Don’t mix chemicals – that’s just not good for you.
Once I was old enough to start band I began playing the saxophone. I really loved it. I practiced every day and most of the time I made 1st chair throughout middle school. Between band , PE and Art I managed to stay in school! By the time I reached middle school my parents were divorced and my mom had gone back to work to provide for us. She was a damn good provider! I was pretty much on my own (in today’s world I would have been a latchkey kid). I would come home go watch the animals, practice my saxophone, ride horses, then eat dinner and go to bed. The homework often went undone or I would do it on the bus to and from school.
By the time I got to high school I had had enough band. I was afraid of the time commitment and how I would have transportation to after-hour events so I let it go. Somewhere between 14 and 15 I got my hardship license, because I got a job at Southwood Threater (now a laser tag place) on Ben White and I needed transportation to get from place to place. I loved working! In fact, I loved working so much I began skipping school so that I would be ready for work! Then I got a job at Foodland for my Uncle. That was even more fun and my friend Suzanne got a job there also. It was a blast. My fondest memory was that you could eat any broken candy bars. Boy was I great at breaking candy bars. Needless to say I wasn’t  setting myself up with good Karma. But from what I am seeing if we all throw our cards out on the table, we’ve all done things that we are not so proud of. This is the muck and the bottom of the pond. The muck we learn from.
Within a year I had decided I didn’t need to live at home anymore. I had learned everything I needed to know and was ready to live on my own! Ha! I moved into an apartment on Riverside Drive. Had no furniture except a bean bag chair and peace of foam to sleep on. I entered the DECA program where you work one half a day and go to school half a day. Thank God for these type programs or I probably never would have graduated. I only told my very close friends where I lived because I was somewhat afraid I could get in trouble. After all I had told the apartment building I was 18 when I signed the lease and I am somewhat sure it is illegal for a 15 year old to live by oneself. (Especially one that rarely goes to school). A lot went on in that time. Too much to share, too many wounds to open. Maybe someday—but all in all—I made it.
This is just a little back ground that will help you understand my need for stability, grounding, grace, dedication, meditation—all the lovely things that Yoga teaches.

My Sweet Moms Influence

I knew from way back that I needed to be in the health care field. As a child I use to write tons of what I called “scrichons” (my made up word for prescriptions) in my make believe office. I would scribble and scribble all day (before I was old enough to spell).  I would also spend a lot of my time down on the ground pretending I was a dog, scratching the top of my head with my feet and wrapping myself up in knots to the best of my ability.  My sweet mom would always tell me I was a yogi but growing up on a farm in the early 60's I had no clue what that was.  I just knew how much I loved putting my body into any type position possible.  My mom also told me I had ESP and that she did also.  We would play games trying to guess what the other one was thinking and we were often both right.  She got a Ouija board and my sister, mom and I would use it to ask and answer questions.

I know my mom believed in ESP but I think she also just wanted to keep an open mind.  She was pretty cool for a mom born in the early 1920s.  She taught us about space, astronomy, and astrology.  She also taught us about aliens and crop circles.  Of course all this was in addition to the normal stuff kids learn, but it made me grow up knowing there just might be more to this world than what we see in front of our eyes.  

I grew up on a farm on Slaughter Lane in far south Austin.  We had all kinds of animals there—horses, cows, pigs.  I rode the horses almost daily, but we also spent a lot of time just watching the animals.  Watching their habits, their instincts when the weather changed, when they were hungry or frightened.  Watching the way the chickens reacted when a snake was near.  We also spent many an evening sitting outside with my brother’s telescope learning about the stars.  Looking back my mom was an amazing teacher and an amazing person.  She would remind me each morning to be kind and to follow the Golden Rule.

Part of the weight gain began when my mom passed away.  She got lymphoma cancer in her late 60's and died too young at age 74. She was my best friend and such a huge part of my life. She passed in 1999, the same year my daughter Shauna graduated from high school and moved toWashington, D.C., for college.

One Sunday my husband Robert, his youngest son Steven, and I had gotten up to check out a new church.  We had arrived at the church and dropped Steven at Sunday School when I heard my mom's voice telling me to come to her now.

I called to check on her and her caretaker said she was fine, but I heard the voice again.  We let Steven stay in his class while we ran over to check on mom and sure enough she was passing.  I felt so blessed that I had listened to her call and was able to be there with her.  I called my siblings and we all spent those last few hours with my precious mom.  She had reached me through the ESP which had shared with me.

That was a tough year. I was excited for my sweet daughter, but it was hard for me that she was moving so far away.  At that time I had been a swimming coach for Texas Aquatics for 8 + years!  And, before that I had coached for Aqua Tex Swim Team.  I was ready for a change.  I thought about finishing my art degree at Texas State (then Southwest Texas) or applying to Oriental Medicine School.  I also had been thinking about Yoga because that's what my mom had always thought I would be good at and I loved practicing my own version of yoga.

2009 -- Turning 50

In April 2009 I turned 50.  Life was good.  I was happily married.  I had my own acupuncture business (Ancient Arts Acupuncture and Herbal Medicine).  I had 2 wonderful children both married to great people, and 2 healthy, happy step sons.   I had 2 wonderful grandchildren (now have 4 plus 1 step grandchild).  A wonderful home and a good life.

However, being busy with my family, home and business, I had stopped taking time for myself.  I had gained weight.   I had lost contact with my spiritual life and because I had run for many years, and grew up riding horses daily (even a few bulls!), I had a lot of stiffness and lack of flexibility.

It was then that my yoga journey began.  I had practiced yoga on and off a few times throughout my life, most recently before now when I was in Oriental Medicine School in the early 2000s. Back then I did mostly Kundalini Yoga and occasional Hatha Yoga.  Every time I went to class I would remember my mom telling me as a child that I should be a yogi.  (Maybe because I use to sit around the house with my legs behind my head or possibly the fact that when she asked me how to fall asleep so quickly I would tell her it's easy, you just let your mind go blank.).   However, back then I found myself unable to stay challenged with yoga.  Perhaps it was just the style of yoga or how it was taught at that time.  A few years later a dear friend asked me to go to a yoga class with her and I said no, that I really didn't like yoga.

But my mind was changed when I went to the doctor that year.  I was a little overweight.  I had high cholesterol (runs in my family) and some pre-cancer issues.  I decided that day I had to change my life.  Before that I ate OK, but not good enough.  I ran several times per week but not enough.

I was now 50, I wanted to be the best I could be for my kids and grandkids.  And, I wanted to be the best I could be for myself.  It was time for a change.  Yoga!

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